I miss you
by SagittariusWarrior
Summary: Dimitri died a year ago. Rose is still coping with it, but a song on the radio makes her believe that she can finally move one. Songfic and one-shot. I don't own the song or VA


It had been almost a year since his death. I have no idea how I survived it, but I made it a year. I guess the fact that I have friends that have helped me is a big part of it. If it wasn't for them, I don't know where I would be. Maybe six feet under like he is or in a physic ward somewhere.

Lissa has given me the day off today. She knows how hard it will be for me. She remembers how had it was for her to cope with her family's death, and she thought that I was feeling something like that. She was right, only it was about ten times worse. She didn't loss her soulmate. I did.

As I lie in bed, I think about our life together. He was seven years older than me and was even my mentor. We fought our emotions back as long as we could until they finally spilled out onto the floor. In the end, things worked out and we were able to be together. That is, until that one night in May.

I push those thoughts out of my head and flip over onto my back. Needing a distracting, I reach over and hit the power button on my radio. I had caught the tail end of a poorly written pop song. I let the song finish out and wait for the next. What I hear makes my heart stop.

_You used to call me your angel_

_Said I was sent straight down from heaven_

_You'd hold me close in your arms_

Holy mother of god. The words hit a nerve deep inside my heart that I my breath catches in my throat. My hand slams down on top of my heart as it squeezes. The lyrics were more right than I think the artist intended. He did call me an angel. Back when he was a Strigoi, right before Lissa staked him.

_I loved the way you felt so strong_

_I never wanted you to leave_

_I wanted you to stay here holding me_

I did love the way his arms were strong. I loved how they made me feel safe and that everything, even the things that we weren't sure about, was going to be okay. God how I wished that he was were.

_I miss you_

_I miss your smile_

_And I still shed a tear_

_Every once in a while_

_And even though it's different now_

_You're still here somehow_

_My heart won't let you go_

_And I need you to know_

_I miss you, sha la la la la_

_I miss you_

I curl up into a tight ball. The sheets, that weren't straight to begin with, are half off of my body. I grab a corner and squeeze the life out of it in my fist. Silent tears leak down my face and soak into my pillow. Something about this song was making more sense that it should be. I did feel him around me sometimes, but when I tried to look for him through the shadows, he wasn't there.

_You used to call me your dreamer_

_And now I'm living out my dream_

_Oh how I wish you could see_

_Everything that's happening for me_

_I'm thinking back on the past_

_It's true that time is flying by too fast_

I cry harder. I was living out my dream. I was Lissa's guardian. That was the only thing I ever wanted next to being with him.

_I know you're in a better place, yeah_

_But I wish that I could see your face, oh_

_I know you're where you need to be_

_Even though it's not here with me_

It was hard, but I had finally accepted that he wasn't coming back. This song that I had just heard was a testament to that. I know that the heaven that he believed so intensely is his new home. I just have to trust that that is where he is.

I close my eyes and picture his face. His smooth hair pulled back into a ponytail, his tan, toned skin under a skin tight, black shirt and jeans. He smiles at me. It is one of his rare, full smiles that make my knees go weak. I open my mouth when he doesn't say anything.

"I love you, Dimitri."

I watch as his eyes fill with love and adoration for me as the words are said. In my heart, I now know that I can move on. I loved him with all my heart and he loved me in the same way.

I open my eyes and look outside. The moon is high in the sky and shining brightly. I smile at it and, for some unknown reason, feel that Dimitri is looking at it also.


End file.
